Choosing a Halloween costume can be challenging, so we’re helping out the GOP Senate candidates this year to make sure they’re all set when they go out trick-or-treating for more special interest money. Unfortunately for GOP Senate candidates across the map, there’s no costume that will hide just how scary their positions are for hardworking middle class families.
Kelly Ayotte – Pinocchio
Since officially announcing her reelection bid, Kelly Ayotte has been trying and failing to erase her true record of siding with special interests over New Hampshire families. Just like Pinocchio couldn’t hide his nose, Ayotte’s record will be impossible to cover up – no matter how hard she tries to rewrite it. 
Koch Brothers – Geppetto
Because what’s a puppet without a master? Geppetto is a perfect costume for the billionaire Koch brothers, because it’s no secret who is pulling the strings behind Ayotte’s voting record.
Pat Toomey – Wolf of Wall Street
Washington has its own Wolf of Wall Street in Pat Toomey. From being an outspoken opponent of Wall Street Reform to attacking the Consumer Financial Protection Bureau that has helped Pennsylvania families, Toomey has been carrying water for his hedge fund billionaire friends and reaping the rewards from Wall Street for years.
Mark Kirk – Harry Potter & His Cloak Of Invisibility
Despite consistently being named the most vulnerable Republican up for reelection in 2016, Mark Kirk has been difficult to spot in public this year after a slew of offensive comments landed him in hot water. That caused the NRSC to take to the Chicago Tribune to publicly beg Kirk to stop speaking in public, and ever since he’s been about as easy to find as Harry Potter under his Cloak of Invisibility.
Ron Johnson – Lego Figurine
Since there’s nothing Ron Johnson finds scarier than the Lego Movie, it’s a perfect costume. While Wisconsinites look for a candidate who will fight for them in Washington, Johnson is still busy crusading against an animated children’s movie in between his reckless, out-of-touch votes.
Rob Portman – Swamp Creature of Washington
It’s no wonder national Republicans began to worry about Portman’s race when they realized he’s better known in Washington than he is at home in Ohio despite 20 years in office – Portman has spent his two decades in Washington carrying water for his special interest friends. Portman’s record of outsourcing jobs, supporting plans to dismantle Social Security and Medicare, and standing with Washington lobbyists and special interests over Ohio’s middle class families speaks for itself.
Sharron Angle and Rep. Joe Heck – Thing 1 and Thing 2
From advocating for privatizing Social Security to repealing birthright citizenship to opposing Governor Sandoval’s bipartisan proposal to increase education funding, Joe Heck and Sharron Angle are totally aligned on the issues and can be difficult to tell apart.
Roy Blunt – Nightmare from K Street
After a few decades in Washington, Roy Blunt has developed a reputation for promoting lobbyists’ priorities over Missouri’s– even going so far as to hire his lobbyist son to manage his 2016 reelection campaign. Blunt has lost sight of what’s important to Missouri, and his close ties to K Street lobbyists make him a nightmare for Missourians looking for a Senator who puts their interests first.
John McCain – Where’s Waldo
Despite facing a strong Democratic challenger and a potential primary, John McCain hasn’t been too concerned with what’s best for Arizonans recently. Just like Waldo, McCain is difficult to spot looking out for Arizona’s best interests.
David Jolly, Ron DeSantis, Todd Wilcox, Carlos Lopez Cantera, Jeff Atwater? Bill McCollum? – The Hunger Games
The ever-growing crew of Florida Republicans running to replace Marco Rubio in the Senate are locked in a crowded, messy race where they’ll stop at nothing until they’re the last one standing in the GOP primary.
Richard Burr – Happy 21st Birthday!
Halloween is a perfect opportunity for Richard Burr to ring in his 21st year in Washington a few months early. After being in Washington for over two decades, Burr has lost sight of what’s important to North Carolina.
Colorado Republicans – Minor League Baseball Team
Senate Republicans have struggled to recruit candidates in the few challenger and open-seat races they have this cycle, and nowhere is this more evident than in Colorado. The GOP’s top-choice candidates have all passed on the race, ensuring a crowded, messy primary that will yield a second-or-third-tier candidate.
Rand Paul – Carmen Sandiego
Just like the famous red-coated villain, Rand Paul’s Senate campaign is difficult to track down these days. Paul has all but abandoned his Senate campaign while he runs for president, but national Republicans are growing increasingly nervous about the perception that Paul views the Kentucky Senate seat as a consolations prize. Recently, national Republican operatives even went on the record expressing concerns about Paul’s nonexistent Senate campaign.
